// i dont understand some people//

ugh! i feel like i want to give up already. lately ive been stumbling through life. i cant seem to do anything right nor can i say anything right. im just really frustrated right now. i really like this one guy but again i said the wrong thing and now hes mad at me. we had our first fight already and we arent even in a relationship. apparently i was flirting with some other dude and he got mad but i didnt even know he didnt want me flirting with other dudes. i didnt even think i was flirting with that guy. he wasnt even cute to begin with. im just ready to give up already. 

// See yourself as garbage, and the flies will come//

see yourself as garbage, and the flies will come. that means that if you see yourself as unworthy or if you think of yourself as no good, then thats what you’re going to get in return. what you are thinking is what people respond to. those are the people that you are attracting. so to turn this around, you need to change you’re tune and stop spreading your misery. you need to look for the positives inside you and to magnify those things with appreciation. once you do that, then that is when you need to spread that vibe. thats when you attract the good. “to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”-oscar wilde; when you love yourself, thats when you automatically attract feelings of love for others around you.

// Torn//

Sitting here crying

All confused and not knowing what to do

I know what’s right but something pulls me in

I don’t know what

My heart is torn

Wrong or right

Knowing what the right thing to do is

There’s doubt

That doubt hovers over you

Like a dark gray cloud just waiting to explode

Drenched in tears

Still confused

What should I do?

Should I end the misery? Is it worth trying?

The more I lie to myself,

The more damage I do.

Decisions must be made

Good, clear, true decisions

No turning back

Torn

// trapped reality//

as i sit in my room

looking out the window

watching kids playing and be free

i sit there and think

i think about my reality

the reality that doesnt shed light

i wonder

is there a way to escape?

as i sit there, wondering

i imagine what i would feel

if i were to be free like those kids

smiling, laughing, enjoying

those days are gone

i have entered the real world

where smiling, laughing, and enjoying

would be a miracle

i’m trapped in this reality

no where to go

thinking of ways to get out

but nothing

// winter ice//

im incomplete without you

complete meant being with you

as our relationship grew

so did my heart

after awhile, things got out of control

my heart starts to crack

strength was no longer there

distance was growing bigger

my heart shatters into pieces

as if winter was over

and the frozen ice cracked

our relationship was a mess

and so am i

// Dead//

i’m dead

i died

a gunshot was heard

blood everywhere

sad music

playing at my funeral

people crying

blessed

the grave

my family

my friends

everyone praying

flying like an angel

watching

over you

you’ll be safe

// inside and out//

friday

start of the weekend

all of the stress

thinking about monday

brain waves are traveling

partying but silent

raining outside, cold

warm inside

breathing air

oxygen inside

growing

shrinking inside

lost

time zooming by

slowing down

rewind